I love my nuts!!
I have decided to officially dedicate this blog as purely pointless. the whole idea for restarting my blog was only to get out as many of the thousands of pointless thoughts in my head as i can. hopefully without too much elaboration or digression. hopely i'll be sticking to only semi meaningful dribble and all relatively close to the same topic.
on that note, today's topic is about my blog. i've already said what i wanted to say about it so i'll move on from there. the song i'm listening to now is "Dance, Dance" by Fall Out Boy. i've been listening and watching this song pretty steadily since my music video source released it. i was at the store today for just a little bit with my uncle and grandmother when this song came onto the radio. it was nice timing, and made me feel better. (disgress...) recently i have been thinking too much. it's been giving me paranoia and making me feel bad. last night on my drive i thought it might be a part of that 7 degrees of seperation or something. there's a set of emotions that most people go through after loosing or seperating from someone. i can't remember which emotions, the number, or order, but i think it's a pretty interesting phenomanon. i wonder which step i was on?? but i'm pretty sure it's because of the time i was away from the girl. it was a rough time. she was having a pretty hard time, but i don't think she's realized how much it has been affecting me. however, that's not something i need to bring up. it's more important to get back to her and try to make her feel good again. i can heal myself on my own in time... hopefully not too long though. it helps a lot when she tells me certian things. i also realized last night that what i was looking so desperately on her blog for were for those words i wanted to hear. well, most of her blog is blocked off, but little i read seemed to be more about the bad things in her life than good things, like a rant blog. there's totally nothing wrong with that. in fact, i'll probably do a bit of ranting on here from time to time, but it just means that what i wanted would probably not be found there. even if i found it, it's just not the same as hearing it from her directly. truthfully, that's why i left her blog and decided not to go back. if there's something she wants to tell me, then she will. i'll wait for that moment.
(snap back to point) i left my car stereo at my apartment last night while driving around. i had way too much to think about, and i was trying to clear my head of it all. all of it was just the things which were making me crazy anyways. well, from beginning to end, music would only get in the way. at the end of my trip i hadn't really missed it much, but a song got into my head. i wonder if it has some significance?? it was one of my all time favorite songs. "When you come around" by Green Day. i haven't listened to it in many years, and still haven't. i was thinking of starting a music clip section at the end of my blog. either a significant song, not playing, or even the song it self!! i'll think about it.
tomorrow i'll be leaving for home. i haven't been home since Christmas. it's been way too long, but right now i really don't want to leave. i just finished a monumental amount of school work. just barely got out from all the stress i was in, and already spent WAY too much time with my family while they were here for my graduation. but mostly... i don't want to miss more of the girl. it's just so frustrating to be pulled away like i have been. DANG IT!! oh, a side note: normally i use an outrageous amount of smileys, sound words and other such nonsense. i'm going to be strict about not putting that crap in my new blog. it just limits the ways i normally express myself, so please bear with me. you've already noticed that i use a very odd system of punctuation and capitalization. please learn to overcome it, or make a comment about something that bugs you. i'll look into it, really!! ah, another note: i'm going to try hard to not appologize for every little action. just all around try to work on developing my conversation to the way i think it should be. that is just meaningless if it's only for myself, so blatantly speaking it's primarily to the benefit of the conversations i have with the girl. if she ever shows up here i hope that she leaves comments about such things. also blatanly speaking, i don't really care what ANY one else has to think about it. i'm not a mean guy, but i only change myself for special people. i don't mean olympicly!! of course, at this point who is more special than the girl?? that's a tough question!!
currently: "Who needs friends" by Treesleeper
Treesleeper is really cool mixing group on the internet. i don't know what these types of groups are really labeled as. i found their site by linking. start at google looking for something particular, click an obscure link on any of the numerous pages you come to, then keeping clicking weird links till you get tired of looking. that's my "way of the web surfing"!! pun from Naruto anime. if you're bored and looking for something to look for, google their page and check out some of their work. i've only downloaded songs from OMFG, so don't hold me responsible for anything else. also, my final warning to everyone's dog, i listen to some pretty abnormal stuff. deal with it!!
this is the part of the email where i hug the girl and say goodnight. she's not here so y'all get nothing!! deal with it!!
goodnight
