The title was a pun i said to the girl, and she told me to use it as the subject of my next blog. so, now i am!! i changed up more of my blog today. pretty much all of it. switched to the sports template and redid pretty much everything. the stupid preset banner was hard to find in the options, and when i took it off it took away my ability to put an overall page header. oh well, the smaller page title above my picture is even cooler. "roll with the punches and sometimes you can find better things." that really is a picture of me. i wonder how long it would take the girl to recognize it?? now, i'm just rambling here, and don't expect one way or the other, but i'll call her out now. if you're here, please leave your name or note in the shoutbox please. thanks. if she doesn't show, then it'll sound really funny, me just talking to myself. but that's what this blog is all about now.

I have decided to officially dedicate this blog as purely pointless. the whole idea for restarting my blog was only to get out as many of the thousands of pointless thoughts in my head as i can. hopefully without too much elaboration or digression. hopely i'll be sticking to only semi meaningful dribble and all relatively close to the same topic.

on that note, today's topic is about my blog. i've already said what i wanted to say about it so i'll move on from there. the song i'm listening to now is "Dance, Dance" by Fall Out Boy. i've been listening and watching this song pretty steadily since my music video source released it. i was at the store today for just a little bit with my uncle and grandmother when this song came onto the radio. it was nice timing, and made me feel better. (disgress...) recently i have been thinking too much. it's been giving me paranoia and making me feel bad. last night on my drive i thought it might be a part of that 7 degrees of seperation or something. there's a set of emotions that most people go through after loosing or seperating from someone. i can't remember which emotions, the number, or order, but i think it's a pretty interesting phenomanon. i wonder which step i was on?? but i'm pretty sure it's because of the time i was away from the girl. it was a rough time. she was having a pretty hard time, but i don't think she's realized how much it has been affecting me. however, that's not something i need to bring up. it's more important to get back to her and try to make her feel good again. i can heal myself on my own in time... hopefully not too long though. it helps a lot when she tells me certian things. i also realized last night that what i was looking so desperately on her blog for were for those words i wanted to hear. well, most of her blog is blocked off, but little i read seemed to be more about the bad things in her life than good things, like a rant blog. there's totally nothing wrong with that. in fact, i'll probably do a bit of ranting on here from time to time, but it just means that what i wanted would probably not be found there. even if i found it, it's just not the same as hearing it from her directly. truthfully, that's why i left her blog and decided not to go back. if there's something she wants to tell me, then she will. i'll wait for that moment.

(snap back to point) i left my car stereo at my apartment last night while driving around. i had way too much to think about, and i was trying to clear my head of it all. all of it was just the things which were making me crazy anyways. well, from beginning to end, music would only get in the way. at the end of my trip i hadn't really missed it much, but a song got into my head. i wonder if it has some significance?? it was one of my all time favorite songs. "When you come around" by Green Day. i haven't listened to it in many years, and still haven't. i was thinking of starting a music clip section at the end of my blog. either a significant song, not playing, or even the song it self!! i'll think about it.

tomorrow i'll be leaving for home. i haven't been home since Christmas. it's been way too long, but right now i really don't want to leave. i just finished a monumental amount of school work. just barely got out from all the stress i was in, and already spent WAY too much time with my family while they were here for my graduation. but mostly... i don't want to miss more of the girl. it's just so frustrating to be pulled away like i have been. DANG IT!! oh, a side note: normally i use an outrageous amount of smileys, sound words and other such nonsense. i'm going to be strict about not putting that crap in my new blog. it just limits the ways i normally express myself, so please bear with me. you've already noticed that i use a very odd system of punctuation and capitalization. please learn to overcome it, or make a comment about something that bugs you. i'll look into it, really!! ah, another note: i'm going to try hard to not appologize for every little action. just all around try to work on developing my conversation to the way i think it should be. that is just meaningless if it's only for myself, so blatantly speaking it's primarily to the benefit of the conversations i have with the girl. if she ever shows up here i hope that she leaves comments about such things. also blatanly speaking, i don't really care what ANY one else has to think about it. i'm not a mean guy, but i only change myself for special people. i don't mean olympicly!! of course, at this point who is more special than the girl?? that's a tough question!!

currently: "Who needs friends" by Treesleeper

Treesleeper is really cool mixing group on the internet. i don't know what these types of groups are really labeled as. i found their site by linking. start at google looking for something particular, click an obscure link on any of the numerous pages you come to, then keeping clicking weird links till you get tired of looking. that's my "way of the web surfing"!! pun from Naruto anime. if you're bored and looking for something to look for, google their page and check out some of their work. i've only downloaded songs from OMFG, so don't hold me responsible for anything else. also, my final warning to everyone's dog, i listen to some pretty abnormal stuff. deal with it!!

this is the part of the email where i hug the girl and say goodnight. she's not here so y'all get nothing!! deal with it!!

goodnight

a late night drive through the grand city of dallas, tx gets me located at a small but wonderfully quaint city park. i love driving at night, seeing new things and doing odd stuff. i took a walk along a small wooden bridge and sat by the still water for a bit. it was amazingly peaceful. blissful in a way.

it's been more than too long since i've been away, so this will be an all new blog. starting over from the very beginning. i will come back at a later time to finish updating the colors and style. it is getting later and later. the blog itself is more important than it's appearance. by this time i have actually forgotten the majority of what i was going to say.

it has been a while, and i have grown quite a bit. many things have happened, and yet i am still only me. please forgive my bizarre writing style. my blogs are mostly a stream of thoughts, and my thoughts are not very smooth out. there are many things that need to be said and even more that i want to say. however, i will be working diligently to write only relivant things. hopefully no more long tangents and digressions.

this blog is mostly for the purpose of writing all the things that i wanted to say but never got to. that refers mostly to the conversations i have with a very important person. for now she shall simply be known as "the girl" as she has already proclaimed me as "the boy". i like it. she talks with me every night for several hours till she falls asleep. it really is so nice to be with her until that point. i wish i could be there in person to watch her sleep. but alas, we are seperated by many unhappy miles. we have come to a point of relationship despite all of our obstacles, and i look forward to what the future holds for us. however, the exact nature and full extent of which is not completely appearant. this is only because i live my life too freely. she has been so wonderul and patient with me so far. i hope she will continue to bear with me for much longer.

i stumbled upon the idea to restart this old blog after stealing her address and breaking into her blog. she has been writing in it for longer than i have known her. she has mentioned it to me before, but never given me the address. rather, she has made more effort to keep me away, and even blocked the more questionable posts from unwelcome visitors. after learning of my bad behavior she became unhappy and embarassed. i left and vowed not to return till she invited me, or even later. it was wrong of me to do that, and i hope she forgives me. it is not the hidden things that bothered me or made me curious, but rather why certain things were hidden. on my long travel through the city i thought of many things and realized that some things just don't seem necessary. i doubt she will ever find this blog, or maybe i might show it to her, either way this is just to write out everything extra that i never said. mostly things that were not the right time, some things i have forgotten, or other things that are just too unnecessary to say.

last night i came to a point where many pointless questions entered my head. by that time i had already asked way too much. the questions were uselss and unnecessary but i was compelled to ask more. all of this extra stuff... i will try to refrain from bothering her with, and will try to use this new blog as my source of storage for all the pointless, unnecessary things.

take care