*a body stirs within the morgue*

Blog:

Mark this day down in infamy: On Wednesday, the 27th day of October, two-thousand and four, the year lord of our God, at 23:09 hours, Central Standard Time, Jafo transcended beyond the great veil. And because his fire of life has been extinguished prematurely, our world will be dimmer…our world will be colder. But like the mighty Phoenix who rises from the ashes, Jafo will once again return. Until then I, Red Herring, will be guest-hosting this blog. Just think of me as the new Jafo…except funny…and I don’t wine and complain as much either…plus, I don’t have a third nipple. In fact, don’t think of me as Jafo at all.

Let me introduce you to your new blog host….ME! My name is Red Herring….a prince among men, adored by women, feared by many, respected by all, honorary member of the Cult of Piett, and five time winner of Texas Weekly’s “Most Charming Smile” award.

Let’s talk about Halloween…or as I like to call it, THE DEVIL’S DAY! Halloween is usually my Christmas, but this year my holiday motivation seems to lack momentum. No decorations in the house…no “Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin” figures poised above my fire place…no pumpkins hand painted to resemble the 3 Stooges…and most important, no 12 foot tall, evil, scarecrow in my yard frightening the neighborhood children. What’s the deal? Do I have some sort of resentment for Halloween this year? Or do I just not care anymore? For the last 4 years, I’ve thrown a Halloween party. They have always been huge success. The food was plentiful and the alcohol flowed freely… Just me and ten of my best friends, who invited 10 of their best friends, then 10 of their best friends… you get the idea. It was just me and 256 of my closest comrades, drunk out of our minds, acting like idiots, and trying not to piss off the neighbors. Sure, the party usually cost about $300 bucks to throw and someone was sure to break or spill something (apparently, carpet and Merlot go better together than a steak and Merlot), but it was fun. This year, however, I just didn’t feel like it.

I decided to attend someone else’s party. I had my choice. Either my friends, Wes & Paula’s party, or my other friends, Rob & Michelle’s party. Each party had there good and bad points.

Wes and Paula’s party’s good points:
-Paula is a great chef…so lots of goodies to eat
-Paula is very creative. She’s known for making party favors.
-Every year they have a Polaroid scavenger hunt across town.

Wes and Paula’s party’s bad points:
-NO ALCOHOL AT THE PARTY.

Rob and Michelle’s party’s good points:
-PLENTY OF ALCOHOL AT THE PARTY. THY CUP RUNETH OVER.

Rob and Michelle’s party’s bad points:
-The party is an 80’s theme

I lived through the 80’s. Been there done that. I really don’t seen this fascination with eighties-wear. Blue eye liner, big puffy hair, mullets, Member’s Only jackets, deck shoes with no socks, all of the girls wanting to look like Madonna from her “Material Girl” album, and all of guys wanting to look like Don Johnson from “Miami Vice.” Plus, the 1980’s music! Oh, the HUMANITY!

In the end, I decided to go to the 80’s party. Yep, you guessed it, it was the alcohol. Okay, I know you are probably thinking that alcohol is a crutch. Well, you are wrong. It’s nothing more that a big stick that I use to prop myself up and keep me from falling over because I don’t have the will or ability to do it by myself…but it’s not a crutch.

“We skipped the light fandango,
Turned cartwheels cross the floor,
I was feeling kind of seasick,
The crowd called out for more.”

----Red Herring

i have been stabbed. i am dead. goodbye my loved ones!!!

i'm here right now. but i'm the only one. all of y'all are off at work or school. i feel a bit lonely right now. but i'm not all that sad. it's just how it is. eventually, y'all be back, and i'll see you again. but still... i don't want to leave here. it feels comfortable being here, even if i'm the only one. i don't want to go away. it's not this comfortable some place else.

all my family is gone too. i'm all alone in the house (except the pets), and it's very nice. i like to just be alone sometimes. peace and quiteness all around (with the Toadies singing in the background). wish i didn't have to do what i needed to do, when i don't want to. i need to get off and do some school work before i head off to the store. dang. well, at least i don't have a LOT of time to spend before i have to get ready, and i'll only have to be THERE for a little while. that's nice. but i still don't want to leave. i want to stay here.

hmmph. oh well. ja ne.

hmm. went and rented some videos Friday night after work. Rented:: Butterfly Effect, 2LDK (2bedroom, living room, dining room, kitchen) (japanese), Noi, and Red Shadow. stayed up and checked albinoblacksheep for some flash files. found some really cool ones that i can use in my "d.a. flash wars". then went and watched Butterfly Effect and 2LDK. Butterfly Effect was really weird. i didn't care for it. it was interesting with a twisted new plot, but not my taste. 2LDK is a japanese drama about 2 actress roomates.

*SPOILER!!* they are auditioning for the same role. this starts off small, but by the end they are using knives, tolet bowl covers, electric wires in bath water, chainsaw, etc, until they finally kill each other at the end. after they kill each other the producer calls and leaves a message on the machine... the director rewrote the script and they are both accepted in the movie.

it was after 5 when the last one finished. then i got up late Saturday morning. Roc called and wanted to borrow some video game booklets for reference for holloween costumes. but first Steve-o came over and helped me take the door panel off my car so i could take my speaker out and go shopping for replacements. went to Roc's dropped the booklets off, when to best buy, curcuit city and finaly walmart. (ew). went back to circuit city and bought the pair i had originally seen at best buy, but were cheaper at c.c.. met back up with Roc and Trin, went to subway for lunch (yummy), then back to their place for a little Star Wars Jedi duel. it was awesome. i had a lot of fun.

after that i left to meet up with my brother at T.G.I.F.. sat around and talked with some new people i didn't know, then we all went to bible study. never been. they've been doing it every saturday night for about 4 months now, but i just never went. it was a lot shorter than i thought. watched a clip of "John the Disicple" dvd, then had a really small discussion on it, then was dismissed for cake and ice cream. eventually came back home, watched Naruto and went to bed. went to church this morning, then to "Tokyo's Japanese Steakhouse" for lunch, and am now back home once again. i have no idea what i'll do after this. i need to do laundry and install those speakers, but stuff happens you know. actually i'm a little tired. i might take a nap first. haha.

uhm. been talking with Trin recently about some stuff (read comments on "the thing from before"). well, she told me that i was relaying negative things in my blog about the times i spent with them. i guess i just never realized it. so, i'd like to clarify. i have ALWAYS!!! enjoyed spending time with Roc and Trin. i think before i had always just felt sad after leaving them. so i would come home and relay those sad feelings instead of the happy ones i felt while there. but, now that Trin's got me on this harsh regiment, i've been doing a lot better. and i didn't feel sad after leaving them. i just focused on having fun, and not worrying about what came after (which i do every day). it seems to be helping a lot. so thank you Trin. just make sure i keep up the good work and don't slip, ok?? thanks.

hope everyone has a great day today. ja na.

ah. what a crappy day. was lovely to see my car this morning with white spots from the windshield all the way to the back bumper. got to work and was assigned work before i even got behind the counter. worked without a single break for 4 hours, was harassed by "the boss" again. then 5 till closing, a freakin customer walkes up... "i need some help". DANG IT!!! didn't get out till 25 after. so, "the boss" had a tyraid. also, before we finished helping with her, "the boss" checked the telephone messages, and got a real nasty message from a customer asking why we weren't answering the phones at 10 till. this pissed him off more. he started yelling and cursing. literally. he went back to the lady and made this big explanation why she was being such a pain, and he didn't skip on foul language. about, how she was throwing a wrench into the works and setting him up to get yelled at some more by HIS boss. this did not appease him. well... now i'm home. i called my parents. they are now out of town on some special trip that i couldn't attend cause i had to work tonight. whatever. well, i had to buy some cat food cause we ran out and they didn't get any before they left. DANG IT!!! also had to stop out and get gas, but just barely had any money on me. came back home, got money, then went and rented vids and got food. my bro is over at a friends house, so i get to stay up late and watch movies. woohoo!!! then tomorrow, sleep in late and go do some speaker shopping. i've been wanting to do that for a while, but now i have a hard exsuce. hehe. yeah.

was hoping to get on and talk with d.a. and glens a little while writing this before i went and ate and watched vids. but they aren't here. :cry: k. well. sad stuff, but i'll make the most out of it. that's my new training regime from Trin!!!

thank you all. take care. have a good night, and stop pissing people off who don't deserve it!!! (*cough* red!!!)

GOODNIGHT!!!!

ps. i wanna check who still reads this. so leave your name in a comment if you've been here. thanks.

pps. oh yes. i have new material for the on going flash wars with d.a.. so if you're out there. be prepared, bwuah-haha!!! :twisted:

alright. i finally got that stinkin web site finished and uploaded. go take a look now. i haven't thoroughly tested it yet. so if somethings wrong, PLEASE!!! let me know. thanks.

Jafo's Page #5

got a notice of jury duty today. crap. this is gonna suck. the first time i got exempt due to me being in dallas and going to school. sweet. but now, i don't have a good enough excuse. hope they find me mentally insane and send me home. "how troublesome."

have been listening to a song i found in my list. 74 minutes long. by Dj Jean. Freakin Awesome dj. he did "i am the creator" which is probably the greatest techno song i've ever heard. this song is called "Love Mix" and is mixed seemlessly front to back. way cool. i just set it up and put on repeat. great stuff.

oh yeah. last night i found a real cool new smiley by accident. check it::
ll P isn't that cool?? yeah, whatever. me too.

sleep well my friends.

it's 2:17 AM Wednesday 10.20.2004

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... i am happy.

not that overflowing joyful jump up and dance and sing crap. i am just happy. was at work for a long time today, and have been working the past several days, but it was nice and easy. no problems that i can remember. Mr. T was there and we had fun. he's crazy and can be very very annoying, but usually it's just fun. also got to see a bunch of cute girls today. (*my thoughts on cute girls in this town has been stated previously*). got home and got to talk with d.a. and glens just a little but was very nice. even got a pic of glens. (cute girl). finally i read a rather long comment by Trin. ... i've heard it all before, but it's still hard to hear. how do you react when someone tells you that you are having a bad only cause you are looking at it the wrong way?? well, yeah. i think i am. that's my problem. and i understand that. but i keep trying to forget it. maybe i'm just looking for pity and sympathy, i'm just not for sure. but you know... the first step in every 12 step program is to identify your problem. i guess it's kinda hard to fix my problem when i don't even want to identify with it, yeah?? well, dispite that, i was happy to hear from her. don't know the whole intention behind her words, but the intentions i see are, she is a friend trying to reach another friend who's stuck in a pit and just wants to sit there. that shows a lot of kindness. so, am i the kind of guy who will throw kindness back in her face, or am i man enough to suck up my stupid pride and accept help from someone and allow myself to be "healed"?? actually, truthfully, even with it all spilled out, it's still a very hard thing to do. so, you know what... i think i'm just high maintenance, yeah?? so, i guess, i'm just happy that someone will finally help me when no one has even bothered ever before. (or is it that i've just hid it so well??) funny thing is, she found the best way to help... a giant slap in the face. are you friend enough to hurt your friends in order to help them out??

be happy everyone. and enjoy yourselves today. tomorrow, the whole world will change. goodnight.

alright. the weekend is finally freakin over. 20 hours down, just another 30 to go!!! boy i'm gonna be worn out again this weekend!!! and yet still, somehow, i must find time to do school work. sheesh.

was talking with glens and d.a. earlier. also happened to find myself conversing with d.a.'s friend "cat". that's a cute nick name. but not cute like kitty, but cute like a nickname. i had a few friends nicknamed "kat". they all had changed schools and friends, and refused to be called Kate. whatever. glens got busy with other conversations and i let her be, but then she eventually just left without saying goodbye. "goodbye, glens. sorry i wasn't very talkive tonight. was busy answering 'personal' questions from the new girl and you seemed caught up into other things. haha. hope i'll see you online again soon. come and leave me a comment sometime!! goodnight". i also appologize for not getting to your site yet. yours was the only one i missed this weekend, but will visit there before i go to bed. i will be to yours after that, d.a. so hang in there and keep your skirt on!!! (so violent sometimes) *i wish k-chan would get on messenger sometime. guess she's just really busy.* i miss you too k-chan. ah, yes. i have been thinking ever so diligently on a nickname for you for so long, and i finally realized i could just use "k-chan". duh!! (if that is alright with you, of course!!)

well, you may know a bit of this, but i should make it publically stated now. i have major problems. i am afraid that i could seriously be diagnosed as psychologically "unbalanced". causes (to list a few):: depression, anxiety, low self estreem, paranoiya. additional effects (to list a few):: memory gaps/loss, occasional unpravoked mood swings, abnormal personality changes, and occasional thoughts of suicide, pain induction, and hostile action. if you have any questions feel free to ask. i am very open about myself and my problems. which is why i decided to state it publically. with this in mind, please bare with me. thank you.

ok. my shoutbox has been seriously suffering. so in an effort to resussitate it, yet again, i have announced to everyone to state one thing about themselves not yet known. here is mine:: i love anime girls. more specifically, their personalities. after seeing certain anime, i wish to meet a girl who shares similar personality traits. being an artist i am quite able to seperate art from life. however, the personalities of a character come from the writer and/or actors. they are real, and can be found in real life. the latest example of this was "Iori" from "I's" manga. she shows compasion and affection for the main character. quite the opposite from the last girl i "was with". she too was in "show biz" and involved in things that made it hard to begin a relationship. however, "Iori" gave them up to be with "Seto". (whatever, i'm not bitter. haha).

hmm. just now when i went to confirm the names, i found a final chapter i had missed before. way cool.

goodnight. have fun this week. -~- jafo.

sorry you guys for being so absent. i've had a lot of things to do, now that i finally have a day off. i've started back on my tutorials, and trying to complete my web site for you guys. it's turning into several pages. hope y'all'll enjoy it. i haven't been to any of your blogs in a while. i'll try real hard to get to each of yours before the week is over. i miss all you guys. take it easy and i'll be back soon.

i finally finished I"s manga scanlation. it's really long. 144 chapters. took me several months to finish. but it's finally done. it's now 2 in the morning. haha. what i wanted to say is that this has brought back a lot of memories for me. very sad painful memories. the main character "Seto" goes through a really rough time with the girl he really likes. well, so much stuff that it lasts for 144 chapters. it made me think some more about stuff i never wanted to think about again. well... since i've been going through this really rough time at work with my boss i had this freak idea about the girl i used to like coming back. i started thinking about what i would do, and all the things i would want to say. well, it's pointless and hopeless. i finally came to realize, that i never want to say them to her. all these things that keep coming in my head that i would say to her, but if i was really ever to see her again, i would never want to say them. despite all the pain she made for me, i could never say hurtful things like that. all this was what i was mentioning at the beginning of the previous blog. i just wish i could make all those painful memories go away. they gave me such valuable lessons in life and love, but i've learned so much from them, will they ever finally just leave me be??

ha. i wasn't actually gonna talk about it yet. i guess i ramble too much. but it feels good to finally get it out, and put it into words. sorry for making you listen to my troubles. i'll do better. goodnight.

AAHHH!! why am i thinking these things!!!??

ok. sorry i've been away for a while. guess it's been about a week now. but truthfully... nothings really happened. i've been at work. worked 20 hours over the weekend, and cause i had to get up early saturday, i couldn't do anything friday night. that sucks. well, "the boss" is really really pissy. been throwin things all over the place again. snapped at me several times. he's too much of a control freak. if he's not COMPLETELY in charge of every little thing, he freaks out. well, he was really busy. and as he can't multitask either, i told him to chill out and i had everything under control. that pissed him off real good. then the assistant bossman made one little mistake and really set him off. it's been really crappy at work with week. ..... well on top of the whole fact that it's the beginning of the month rush. sheesh. what fun i've been having.

that's all thats been happening. i haven't had time for anything else. i went through a bunch of old cd's lookin for stuff. found a bunch of goodies. i might show y'all sometime. found some pics i was lookin for. scaned some photos for y'all. found some songs that would be awesome to share. and hopefully soon i'll have updated my site. be patient. i'll put lots of stuff on there for y'all.

alright. take it easy and i'll let you know what that little tantrum at the top was all about later. :wink:

g-night.

Update:: 6006!!!

WOOHOO!! finally got to my goal hits count. only took about 9 months. :?

i was at work all day today. didn't start off too well having to get up early, but it didn't get any better either. i realized that for some unknown reason i've just not been feeling that great. a little stressed out and emotionally drained. very bizarre. the new girl was at work today. she's there to take over for me so i could take a lunch. it's just hard to be around her. she just has such an attractive personality. it's hard to hold back on feelings. guys suck. they get instantaneously emotional about a girl, and don't know how to deal with it. and it just drains you to have to hold back feelings like that cause....... you just have to.

well it's great to come back to friends who are supportive and care about you. who build you back up. i came back tonight and found a real nice positive comment from kayoko. thanks kayoko for being a great friend. thank you all for being here for me.

i'm tired and wiped out. so i'm going to bed. goodnight.... my friends.

p.s. d.a., i'd like to appologize for last night, if i offended you. i don't remember anything, but i know i just wasn't myself. so for that and whatever else, i am sorry.

ok. it's now 8:10PM and i still feel rotten. i went to the doctor early this morning and he did a bunch of stuff and since then i've felt real nauseated. i didn't see what he was doing since it was on the back of my neck but my mom went with me and later told me what happened. it goes like this::

i went in and sat on the table. the doc comes in and asks what's goin on. blah blah blah, "i have a freakin scab or something on the back of my neck that won't heal correctly." oh ok. so he bends my head down and says "yeah yeah. we'll take care of this." bent over with my head down, i stayed like that the entire visit. he turned around got somethin (a knife) off the counter and without warning procceeds to saw and hack the entire wound away. (literally, "saw and hack") he must have started small, then decided to shorten it some more cause he ended up doing it 3-4 times. while he was back there he found another similar wound (that i didn't know about) and did the same to it. here i must mention that the back of the neck contains many nerves that stem from the spinal cord. it is considered one of the most sensitive areas on the entire body. so basically, i'm saying that really really hurt......... but he wasn't done. (did i mention, he never warned me about ANYTHING he did!!!) ok, well, of course the wound started bleeding like crazy after hacking it all the way down to even with the skin. his method to stop this (i was told) was to use the pointed end of a Q-tip and stab it into the newly opened (and now highly sensitive) wound. he had to press hard to do any good, but even then it wouldn't stop. DUH!!! throughout the entire ordeal he kept spraying something (which i thought was foam, but was never confirmed) all over the back of my neck. since the stupid little Q-tip wasn't doing nearly a good enough job, he ended up having to "carterize" it (i hope i spelled that right. technically i don't know what it means. it's what my mother told me he had done.) then due to some circumstance i don't know about, (and again without warning!!!) he turns around and grabs a needle and stabs it straight into the open wound. i could tell immediately what it was, and the initial shock made me duck my head further down which resulted in pulling the needle out. so of course he had to stick me yet again. then he did the same to the other smaller wound, and once again i jerked and he poked me twice more. he claimed this to be just a pain killer (numb-er) or something. then he sprayed me more and put a bandaid on it. did i mention that he was never gentle with me. he's a bigger, buffer man than i, and he uses a lot of his force in everything he does. that is to say, even his handshakes can be quite painful. ok, back to this. well, as this was all done suddenly, and was now over. i found i hadn't been able to keep me head up on my own. it was propped up in my hand. when he finished, it was too much to lifted it up by itself. at this, the doctor and my mother both told me that i had gone ghostly pale. so without much argument i laid back on the table and stayed there for several minutes. after eventually leaving, paying and getting in the car, i looked into the mirror and found i still was without much color. i should mention for my own sake that i have been cut and hacked and wounded much in my life. i've even purposefully injurded myself on a few occasions. i am tolerable to a lot of pain. THIS, however, was very very much painful. like i had said, he was pretty much cutting, hacking, stabbing and injecting straight into, on and through nerves. that's about all i have to say for that.

oh yes. THE DIAGNOSIS:: through the event, he assured us that is was NOT cancerous, or anything dangerous. hemophelia was not mentioned at all. he simply said it was more than likely an ingrown hair that had come out and possibly infected before proper healing. and that every time thereafter it was probably never completely taken care of. there was a possibility that it was a mole, but seeing as i've had numerous "ingrown" hairs, it was probably just that.

THEN, much to my chagrin, he perscribed for me an antibotic pill. i just wonder how well and internally administered medication will work on a topically infected wound??? so basically, i think he did it just to perscribe something. i have refused to take it till i have tried other means of cure. such as:: topical antibotic cream!!!, neosporin!!! etc etc.

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after the relatively brief doctors visit, we came home for about an hour, then went out to the fair. before a certain time, all parking is free. before noon, all admission is free. the only glitch was that the parking lots are all "dirt" and it's been raining frequently the past week. once we got inside, we got some corn dogs and visited the merchant centers. then went back and got a frito pie. i forgot to get me some cotton candy and funnel cake. we spent WAY more time that i liked at the booths. my mother stopped at nearly every other booth for prolonged periods of time. "OH!! look at this!!!" she said. i handled it a bit better when she compensated me with a small red carving of the legendary 3 turtles on each others back and a deck of evangelion playing cards (bootleg of course) (i'll buy an offical pack soon) (i collect playing cards). also saw "the girl" there. she was with a friend. later we saw her sister. shortly after that, in came her mom, other sister, and younger brother, and a few more friends. oh what a happy gathering it was!!! (made me more sick)

after the fair we came home. i laid on the couch and watched tv for a little bit, then slept for about 3-4 hours. it's now 8:48, and i still don't feel very good.

did i mention at all that i have to work 12 hours tomorrow. (and 8 sunday) (will be missing church, YET AGAIN!!!)

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thank you all for your conserns. i love you all terribly much. take care. goodnight.

.jafo.